pearl teeth

4chan Cookie:
I've written an applescript that reads /b/ (a sub-board of the website 4chan) and finds lines to make haikus. The westernized version of a haiku is a three-line poem where the first line has five syllables, the second has seven syllables, and the third has five. This script isolates all the sentences in a given string and counts the syllables based on vowels - with clauses for double vowels (such as 'moot') and words ending in 'e' or 'ed' (like 'some' or 'payed'). There are too many exceptions for me to script, so I just went with these basic rules. As you can see, there are some bugs in the script (sometimes it returns sentences with 4, 6, or 8 syllables).
/b/ is widely considered to be the basest, vilest community on the internets. It is racist, sexist, sex addicted and (superficially) homophobic. It's also where %60 of internet comedy comes from. 4chan was started as an anime image board, but since then /b/ (the random board) has become a hugely popular forum for exchanging nude pictures, trolling, and getting dubs. I wanted to bring the Japanese connection full-circle and have the users of 4chan unknowingly contribute back to the culture. The process of creation is automated and indeterminate.

The script runs in real time, along with the 'ReloadEvery' add on for Firefox. The Audio is Apple Speech's 'Alex'. This video was put together to exemplify the results of the script. IRL the results are always different. Music and video were added after.

Music: Ensemble Nipponia - Edo Lullaby
used without permission :(